Mastering negative self-talk
"If you hear a voice within you saying, 'You are not a painter', then by all means paint -
and that voice will be silenced."
Vincent Van Gogh
Mastering self talk …is something I believe everyone contends with.
Last week was a tough week watching my teenage daughter endure COVID, juggle due assessments and negative self-talk, so many 'I can't and I don't know what to dos'.
I'm curious, from 1-10, 1 = really negative and 10 = really positive, how do you rate your self talk? Be honest. How often have you called yourself stupid or an idiot or that you suck, you should know better, how dumb am I, I’m cursed, I will never be able to do this, I’m never going to get that, I will never ….
It can be pretty alarming when we acknowledge the hectic things we say to ourselves. Would you speak to a child or friend the way you speak to yourself?
So many of us are familiar with the saying attributed to Henry Ford “Whether You Believe You Can Do a Thing or Not, You Are Right” With this in mind consider for a moment all of the unconscious self-talk that goes go on. We have between 60-70,000 thoughts a day. That’s a lot of auto suggestion going on!! Negative self talk dramatically affects our ability to deal with emotions and plays a strong role in how our daily lives play out.
Mastering negative self-talk is a skill. It takes awareness, reflection and action.
awareness - acknowledge the thought/s, notice how often they are arising
reflection - "Do I need this thought anymore? Or is there something else I could say to myself that would be more empowering? Would other people agree that there’s strong evidence to support this thought? When I have felt this way in the past is there evidence to say it is true?”
action replacing it with new empowering thoughts and feelings
There are many great tools and practices to tame negative self-talk and replace it with thoughts that are empowering. It is a skill, it takes practice - athletes, entrepreneurs and leaders will all tell you the importance of mastering your self-talk, that it is a practice and one that will ultimately determine the quality of your life. A great coach can help you navigate this.
I am happy to share at the beginning of last week my daughters self talk was a 1, she is now at a 9 :-)
If you would like to be a 9 or higher book a free consult HERE.
