Being cool about being disliked
What would you do or what would you have done in the past if you were truly cool about being disliked or cool about others disliking your creations?
Oh golly, I can think of so many things… lost opportunities, adventures and firsts. I can think of how many things I still procrastinate over … bottom line if I was being cool about being disliked I believe I’d be unstoppable. What about you?
Worrying what others will think can be paralysing, it can kill innovation, imagination, creativity and joy. It can hold you back from living and most definitely hold you back from living your best life. Having the courage to be disliked is not always easy…in fact is hardly ever easy. This said it is well worth the attention and the effort to be cool about being disliked.
Though I can identify many times in my life the conscious and unconscious worry of being disliked has seen paralysis and procrastination, I am most driven to educate my children to harness the superpower of being cool about being disliked.
It is heart breaking when you witness your child suffer, when you see them drowning in anxiety, frozen with fear for what others might think. To see their light go dim, to see tears, to hear the pain. The overwhelming desire and pressure to be accepted, approved of …to be liked.
“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.” - Ichiro Kishimi The Courage to Be Disliked
If only I could bottle up all of the wisdom and courage I have gathered in my 40+ years and have my children drink it. The knowledge that, it’s not their business what others think, that opinions are just that… opinions, that being selective with who you attract into your tribe is powerful, precious and COOL. That if someone doesn’t like it or approve… you’ve possibly challenged their world, their beliefs and that is COOL. That by being courageous, feeling the fear and doing it any way fuels magic, momentum and puts you ahead of the pack. That those who criticise are often doing less than you. That the COOL people raise others up, even if they don’t like something, they don’t tear you down. That to be COOL with being disliked is freedom. That most people come and go from your life and that their opinions can go with them.
“None of us live in an objective world, but instead in a subjective world that we ourselves have given meaning to. The world you see is different from the one I see, and it’s impossible to share your world with anyone else.” - Ichiro Kishimi The Courage to Be Disliked
As a coach and someone who is passionate about peak performance and achieving your possible, seeing you harness the superpower of being cool about being disliked, not needing or seeking external validation is something I thread through my programs.
A couple of key points that are more than worthy of a ponder and are highlighted in the highly acclaimed book, The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi are:
It’s dangerous to believe that your past determines your future.
If you focus on what’s wrong with you, you might be looking for reasons to hate yourself on purpose.
Most of what we think of as competition is just made up and hurting our happiness.
If you are interested in developing the skills and insights into being cool about being disliked, let’s have a chat. Book in a time with me HERE
